There, I said it. Post over. Kidding.
A couple of weeks ago at our mom’s group, we were talking about the “modern mother” and how we can judge based on first impressions. Social media, where we put our “best foot forward”, only perpetuates some of these first impressions, as we’re not seeing what’s behind people’s closed doors and they’re only sharing their highlight reel. And first impressions are powerful stuff.
This discussion was really impactful for me and quite timely. You see, just a few days before, I’d had a freezer meal prep event at my new home of three weeks and as my friends and co-freezer-mealers arrived I received comments such as, “didn’t you JUST move in here?” and “how on earth did you manage this?” I wasn’t sure what my house was *supposed* to look like three weeks after moving in but we’d made it a priority to slam through unpacking our major living spaces so we could start enjoying them. That’s all. Not every nook and cranny was set up. Just the places we spent 90% of our time as a family. And honestly, I felt a little badly that I was projecting some image that we were completely settled in when we totally weren’t. i still can’t tell you where half the stuff is in my kitchen, let alone anywhere else in the house. Don’t ask me for another stick of deoderant. No clue where it is.
And that’s not the only thing. It’s not uncommon for me to get remarks like “I don’t know how you manage all you do.” Of course there’s the one that inspired this post, “you must be superwoman!” And I’m here to say I’m not superwoman.
Sure when you look at my list, if you will, of things I’m involved in or are currently on my plate, it DOES look like a lot. And somehow it DOES all get tended to. And (hopefully) not at the expense of the most important job on my plate right now, which is to pour into these two little people that I am blessed to spend hours upon hours with week in and week out. Even if they do suck every bit of patience out of me i didn’t even know I had to draw from.
Here’s the scoop. The only way I’m able to do what I do is through the grace of God. I don’t understand it myself. And in an effort to be authentic and real, you have to understand that I have moments just like you do, too. These are JUST FROM TODAY, folks.
I have moments where my kid eats chips. While watching the iPad. At 9:30 in the morning.
My daughter has an obsession with goofy nursery rhyme videos on YouTube. I don’t get it. But she loves it. And so I let her watch ’em.
That “getting it all done” facade I may or may not be projecting looks something like this in reality. After a crazy week, I realized I hadn’t folded a single load of laundry in about 8 days. Maybe 9. I DID wash things. Here’s a week or more’s worth of laundry. You can barely see my son’s head in the background. Some days, we don’t make it out of pajamas for awhile. Here’s my daughter crashed out for an early nap, in the same pajamas she slept in the night before. Guaranteed that was the comfiest she’s been during a nap in ages. I didn’t hear any complaints from her. (As a bonus piece of info, it was around this time that I retreated to my bedroom while my son watched a movie downstairs so I could watch Grey’s Anatomy. I got through everything but the last four minutes before he came looking for me.)
And this. Brought my kids to the Y, where I get up to two hours of childcare daily included in our membership (and as of late, use every last minute of it, if not for working out, then to catch up on life.) I went into workout mode and YES I felt strong. Yes, I felt like I had it together in that moment. But I did NOT feel like superwoman. That’s not me. And I hope you know, that’s not what anyone expects you to be, either.